When you finally make the difficult decision that you are going to have to file for divorce, there are a bunch of things you should go ahead and start doing to prepare.   Gather together financial documents, including copies of bank statements, investments, pensions, and tax returns.    Check on the status of life and health insurance for yourself and your children. 

Start looking at the parenting classes that are offered in Hamilton County and determine which one will fit in easiest with your schedule.   Start stockpiling away some money as well, because divorce costs money.   There are filing fees and attorney's fees, as well as fees for mediation.    If any part of your divorce is contested, both Hamilton County Circuit and Chancery Courts require you to go to mediation---most mediators charge anywhere from $150 to $200 an hour, often with a two (2) hour minimum.     It would be best for your case if you can reach an agreement with your spouse regarding the various issues in your divorce, which will include property division, splitting assets and debts, custody, and child support.

If you know you will be filing for divorce, you should start thinking about these issues ahead of time and make a list of your negotiables and non-negotiables.      Be realistic.    It is very unlikely that you will get everything you want.      If you can compromise on a few things, you may end up with a much better resolution than a judge will give you.

I have a lot of child support clients that are facing contempt charges.    The Child Support agency in Hamilton County is very powerful.   If you get behind on your child support obligation, they can take away your driver's license, freeze your bank accounts and intercept any income tax refunds you may get.       You can also be sentenced to jail time.

If you owe child support, it is very important you pay it on time.    If your financial situation changes, or you lose your job or work hours, you need to file a petition to modify your child support obligation.   Filing the petition currently costs $75.     Realize that if you file a petition to modify, you will risk having your obligation raised instead of lowered, so make sure you have properly used to the worksheet before you file.

Another important point about child support.       A lot of fathers believe that if they buy gifts for their children on the side, such as clothing or school supplies, that this will count towards their child support obligation.     It does not and based on the conversations I have had with Maximus attorneys, I know this is frowned upon.   If you owe child support, buying gifts for your children does not get credited towards your obligation--it will in fact look bad for you if you are behind on child support and come into court on a contempt petition and say you have been buying gifts on the side.   Bottom line, if you have the money, send it in to the state on your obligation---and by all means, get receipts to make sure you get properly credited.

I was recently honored by being invited to join the advisory committee for the Partnership for Families, Children & Adults Youth Services program.    The Partnership is a great organization in town that offers a number of services to the community, including domestic violence services, youth services, and elder and crisis services.       

The Youth Services program licenses and provides training for foster families and helps children get adopted.     Partnership works along with DCS to provide safe homes for children in our community.     As part of the advisory committee, I am using my experience as a child welfare specialist and former DCS attorney in Chattanooga to offer suggestions on how to help the youth services program grow and develop.    I attended my first advisory committee meeting in September and was impressed with the program.    Partnership really works hard to provide support to their foster families, and they have even started a foster family appreciation night.      I look forward to continuing to work with the advisory committee over the next year.     I also plan on referring clients to the Partnership whenever it would be appropriate.

Part of my contract with my clients includes a paragraph on mutual termination rights.    The way I see it, my relationship with my clients is a mutual relationship--in other words, either one of us can get out at anytime.     Like any other relationship, we must each have mutual respect for each other for the relationship to work.

If at any time you become unhappy with my representation, you can fire me.   Likewise, if at any point during the case, I think you are being unreasonable, or even more important, asking me to take legal action that I feel is unreasonable, I can fire you as a client.

Lawsuits are stressful.   If you are involved in a divorce or custody battle, there will be a lot of things that happen to cause tension or stress.   It is my philosophy to try to keep things on as even a keel as possible.     There are things that will happen that you will have very little control over and that you will not like.     I ask all of my clients to keep a calendar so that they can carefully document all of the little things that happen during their case so the information can be presented at the next court hearing to let the Judge address it.    

If the stress of the litigation is really getting to you, I will recommend that you seek a counselor or support group to help support you, because I am not a therapist.      I may also recommend exercise or a better diet, whatever it takes to help you get through the stress.     

Unfortunately, another big reason for me to terminate my relationship with a client is when I am not being paid.       This is just reality--my time is valuable.   One of the reasons you pay me a retainer is to retain my expertise in your case.    Once that retainer runs out, additional money will be owed for my representation to continue.

It is my policy to be as up front as possible as I can at my initial consultation about fees and about how long I think the litigation will last, but there will be things that may happen that I cannot predict and as my contract says, due to the large number of factors involved in a lawsuit, I can make no guarantees.

The TN Economic Council on Women Southeast Tennessee Summit was held in Chattanooga on September 21, 2012 at the Chattanoogan and I attended for the entire day.    The event was kicked off by opening remarks by Dr. Arun Gandhi, the grandson of Mahatma Gandhi.    Shortly after he spoke, the summit had break-out groups and I attended all 3 of those.

At lunchtime, there was a very powerful presentation by Mayor Kim McMillan from Clarksville, TN.   Kim was extremely inspirational.  She was the first woman to serve as a Mayor of any TN city with a population over 100,000.  Prior to becoming Mayor of Clarksville, Mayor McMillan served in the TN House of Representatives for 12 years and was elected twice to be House Majority Leader.    Mayor McMillan really has been a trailblazer for women in politics and I hope she will make the decision to run for Governor again.   She had some really funny stories to tell about being the only woman in the male-dominated world of TN politics.

The first group I attend was "What's Holding you Back?" which was moderated by a local attorney Jacqueline Strong Moss and had 3 presenters, including Stefanie Crowe from Capital Mark Bank, Dorothy Grisham, from Allstate Insurance, and Carla Donina from UBS Financial Services.    All 3 women gave short talks on how they made it to the top and the obstacles they faced on the way--all very inspirational.

The second group I attended was after lunch and was presented by Kathy Blanton from the Regency Group.  She encouraged all women in the room to figure out how to best market themselves and encouraged us all to shoot for our dreams.

The final group I attended was "Changing the Conversation" with Jennifer Rawls and TN Supreme Court Justice, Sharon Lee.    This was one of the main themes of the summit--which was when women are at the table, it changes the conversation, and for the better.     Overall, I walked away from the summit feeling very inspired to use my unique strengths as a female attorney to continue to work hard to help people in the Chattanooga community.